Like any others, just a tweak to fear

Today was really odd. I had my feelings tweaked towards fear more often than usual. This stupid feelings of fear and disgusts kept on coming back, grr especially the fear part. You know...when you take the time to settle down and things catch up with you? You feel this sour fear, your shoulders bend in. You just want someone to hold you, tell you things to make that fear subside. Well, i was scared. I felt alone all of a sudden. I mean, its nice being single but i feel i do better with someone by my side. I always have this urge to find a partner, probably because of my situation. I really missed having someone to hold so my heart could settle. Gone through the fear, came out stronger. Today also showed me that i can do without someone else, but still this urge remains. But, this is also my propelling drive that pushes me forward, harder and faster. A risky move but i know i will reap huge, huge rewards.

And then, really found out how some people are really damn bloody spoilt brat -.- you know, they're in a better condition or a better situation than anybody else but there they are complaining about their life. Their parents. I really scolded some of them, made them wake up. I asked some of them. What did you do, to deserve and demand everything you have, to be standing here while someone else born on the same day is in a porvetised country? Most people forget that one line. What did they do to be able to demand all that? Some small things that happen, and already they scold FML or i hate my life. I'm someone who doesn't want to see any of his friends fall. I meant, not ANY one of them especially a group of them. But its getting kind of annoying to keep pushing someone up who keeps going down again.

And then...after yesterday's training, i realised that training a team might not be easy but if you've got the guts and the tact, no team problem is unsolvable. It might be one's problem but as a team, the whole team should...should help out. Definitely. Its a team for a reason. The next few teams coming are the PDS,FSD and the part C's. Main worry in the part c, wanna make sure all of them will do well in taking over the unit.

Things that made me smile was...getting to play with you today. I dont know, got to spend a little more time with you confused about my feelings...quite spread out and to afew people but it'll clear up soon i hope! And fairytale. My first official song...love song much. And being able to say certain things out... :DD also...it doesn't matter how much coal is around me. I know, i still have diamonds shining with and for me. I love those people

Time to finish up fairytale...the song with most of my dreamy emotions coming up! Makes me feel good again~^^