Oh well oh well~ it seems today was quite the bad day!! But it taught me something. Things might not go the way you wanted it to, but if you have at least tried to turn it around once, it would have been more than splendid a day! Went to ice skate (again -.-) and this time it was pretty bad~ blisters and a knee injury got the better of me (_|_-.-_|_) yeahh literally~ kinda wasted day. But i will heal soon!! On the way home...caught in the rain. Shivered like hell on the bus till i got home >~< die already!! Flu already inside me and i gotten drenched again :/ throat itching...
Suddenly woke up today. Not the morning kind, but more of the, 'i've gotta get up and do something' kind of wake up call. Realised around a few of my friends, its not that i turn quiet when they are talking. Its more of because i have nothing glamourous in comparison to them. They talk about the more specialised subjects, how they can drop more subjects and are within the safe range etc etc etc. Seriously, compared to them, i dont have much. They've got results and academic performance, i got a horrible mix of skills from every garbage i can find. FS guitar,pool, ice skating. All these, pool and ice skating, so many better than me by far. FS guitar, no one i know of is interested in. Most of my interest are hands-on...NCC, FS. These are,as horrible as it sounds, nothing to be proud of. Come to think of it, what can i be proud of myself? These are expensive hobbies and... I can only hope my future job can support them. Kinda the first day i'm thinking for myself. Used to put the wants of others before mine... How my wants for myself were lesser than my want for others. Today is different...
And, also startled by this revelation. She's far away now...distant and you were the one who allowed that distance to build. My feelings are now confirmed, and my decision made. The feelings for you stays as strong, but i'll tone down my actions, my words. Noticed how my heart didn't soften much when i was with you...now what might this really mean? Somehow...i dont know why my thinking seems to be set into this kind of pessimism. Maybe back then, it seemed to good to be true?
