He asked me; "Boy ah, you look very tired. But your eyes look very happy. Why ah?"
Well...i really did get stumped for awhile :x no hiding that~ he asked when i was alone...
I don't know. I just had this... I live everyday doing what i love to do for a future i know i can fight for to my fullest, for people i love to protect them. I sworn...to fight for those people? Hell yes. I will and to the furthest extent. Aaron taught me this, and i really agree. Blood is thicker than water, but loyalty is thicker than anything. Damn bloody true. Family by blood is as important as family by bond. Be it my real family, my brothers, that one girl, that one teacher, whoever that stays. Blood family, or bonded family. The people that stay is what matters. Then his next question... "Then what if everything you're doing now fails, and you lose everything that you earned?"
I caught him off guard ^^
"I lived everyday knowing i won't have any regrets even if it were to mean i'd die today".
Am i really that silly when i said that? I don't know. Yes or no, i know i can. He gave me weirdest look i've seen on anybody's face, and his third and most powerful came along.
"So you might do all these but what if the people turned away, walked away from you?"
I could only say one thing...
I'll give my best to those who stayed. Those who left shall be a lesson, the ones who stay shall be my blessing.
He was a regretful person...he looked me deep in the eye and asked me, how old are you? Sounds a little dramatic? It is :x but i feel pretty good after. He couldnt believe i was 15...
You know, after awhile anger and sadness, all those negative emotions became foreign to me. Feels like first times feeling them everytime. I've got nothing to earn from hiding, nothing to lose from giving. I rarely feel tired... I rarely feel down for longer than 5 minutes(unless something serious affects someone important) . Yep...maybe in the next post i'll post about that period during the presence of the disorders...the difference in emotions was worlds apart. When the darkness nearly took my life a few times,my light looking for a crevice to shine but now that same darkness are just small whispering shadows^^ looking for a place to hide. To make it better...i could look at the people of my past who held the highest importance to me, in the eye and not feel anything anymore. Moving on from someone feels...liberating. Amazing...and now that empty space is taken up by someone else. The light playful feeling is just... :)
Actually i do have one, and only one regret. Its more of a reminder everytime...how to treat a girl proper :P that's my biggest spur and best motivation^^ but its a good one anyways~ its kinda weird. Everything started looking up as i started letting go of you. And now when i've fully let go, everything to me...seems perfect. I want to share that...
