Like this. Define the word, pride.
To me, it isn't about being proud. Being proud of what i can do, is well... Simply me. I just want to have a little fun~ to some, pride would be how well they can hide their emotions and how strong they would look. To others, pride might be what they are able to achieve without having to flaunt. But to me, i think that pride would be being daring enough, brave enough to reveal your emotions and still be strong enough to get back up and get stronger. There's honestly to me, nothing weak in being able to show emotions such as sadness, grief, anger...you get it. Someone is strong if he can hide his emotions, but stronger if he dares to show it to everybody. Pride shines in strength, never revels in weakness. To me, someone weak is someone who can do something about a situation now, no matter his position in it, but refuses to do anything about it. Someone who was knocked down by circumstances and chooses to cry at the very spot he fell when he has the power to get back up and continue again. That is weakness to me...never was it ever that someone couldn't handle something small, to overwhelming because if someone cries because of something overwhelming, well its overwhelming for a reason. It has threatened something or someone the person values. It was never that the person holds in her angers and frustrations for years and someone comes along to break everything down. It was not that she could hide her pain from the rest of the world and still put that sweet smile on her face, but the person who breaks and would prefer to curse the world and do anything but get up. That's as simple, and as complicated as that. I'm only disgusted by that.
Much like anger, why does it come about? Think. It comes because something or someone you hold dear is threatened or at stake, does it not? Nobody would get angry because something they do not care about is being laughed at. But if say, a girl's modesty, a man's pride, a child's dream is crushed, what could happen? The results could be of two things. Devastating or heavenly... The former for the obvious reason of revenge in any forms deemed sweet by the dealer, but the latter. That is the tricky one...not many people can be one to turn their anger and pain dealt to them into a force escalating their powerful want and need to help people in kindness, instead of hurting them in revenge. Because honestly, it always is easier to just deal and rant all that anger on someone else, and just tell that person oh suck it up because it happened to someone else. I don't want that. I try not to rant, i try not to flare up as much as i used to. I don't want to hurt the people i care for anymore no matter how much they will to me. It's not a matter of how much pain i was dealt, but how much kindness i am able to give in return. Pain is a temporary, but a never ending cycle if revenge is taken but the moment someone ends it with kindness, the cycle breaks. I'm ending it with me.
One more powerful lesson learnt today was about hatred. I've seen many that say they've hated this, they've hated that person. I mean hate in the form of, it's no longer pure anger but corrupt stains of twisted melancholy in ways it twists the mind beyond normal comprehension. Hate is extremely powerful... I've seen what hate can do exactly to a person's mind. My mind was of a sheltered weakling's, and when hate spread through my thinking, it was horrible. I nearly lost that fight to madness. Hate, to me is the dark negative of love. It changes a person inside out in the worst ways possible created by that person's mind. The darker the mind, the harsher the change. The only thing that could reverse my change was love, but then even that wasn't enough to get me back. To people who say they hate their life now, look carefully. You're in Singapore. Still want to hate your life when there are starving kids content with theirs? I didn't hate anybody, just myself. The ugly stain that was born into this value-less world with everything taken away from him. But now i thank my circumstances that i might not have a full family, a full family is really just a bonus. I used to pray for an easy life, the easy way out. Now i pray for strength to endure the worse, and the love in me to forgive.What matters is not the past. It is the present. The future is played by the hands of now...
Pride.Anger.Hatred.Love.
Oh, and i'm pretty tired of people looking at my surface and not what i will do for them...
