Stumbled upon these songs : All she knows and When you're lonely by Bruno Mars. Just struck by the lyrics and how it really reflects me. How much i can give is really, really a tiny amount compared and is pretty worthless compared to others~ not that i'm feeling down or anything but its really a fact. Cant even make you recover after him...
Shows how little i can give...and the way i give. You deserve someone who can make you forget your heart was ever broken, recover and believe in love again. That really is something i cannot do to anyone. Not capable enough to? And simply too weak to as well. My own heart cannot feel normally, who am i to give love to another when i can barely give it to myself, and feel it? Still have so many things to handle as well, so many things to do with so little time. What happens, i only become even more numbed to my surroudings, than i already am.
Not someone who is able to give, because i treat others the way they treat me. The more you give the more i return, the colder you are the colder i will be as well. Just that one day you stop being sweet and start being cold, perhaps i will hold out more but inevitably i will return you the same coldness until theres nothing left to be given. And, i either care for someone to the core, or i dont at all. I wont let anybody guess which end of the scale they are on, or are already on. Theres no such thing as an in-between for me...
Just cant wait for monday. Cant wait to let off all the emotions building inside me, and be myself again. Think its best i stick to myself for awhile... Dont want to lean on anybody anymore. Think relationships are not for me too~
