Well...past three day's been pretty quiet and peaceful for me emotionally and mentally~ feels like a good long break without having to think of how not to offend people,trying to read others and trying to be sure i am not wasting your time. Dont want to be a burden, that annoying guy that keeps expressing his feelings to someone that doesn't feel the same way. I got that before, the irritating feeling when someone professes his/her love for you and you're there like, 'okaycan'. Did past the few days without my emotions triggered even once... I dont know. Feels weird for me i guess... But this calmness is the exact thing i was looking for for so long. In the past, it was just numbness,then the ups-and-downs, then this calmness i was searching for since my birthday. Finally for the first time, i feel one with myself~ a quiet drive pushing me stronger than anything ever did. Became stronger in all aspects too...Most of my decisions were driven by a set of harsh words from someone,i'll never forget how deeply impressed and hurt i was from that set of words,but now its a leap from within me~As i am now, am suddenly struck by these songs 'Tired of loving this way'-Collin Raye and Bruised and scarred-Mayday parade. These two songs somehow describe exactly how i felt when you were around...in these few days, it became more like 'Officially missing you-Jayesslee'~ a realisation indeed....and i'd much prefer feeling like this.Just missing you from a distance...
My physical state was a disappointment -.- fell sick so easily...feeling weak and cold so easily but i'm recovering well! By monday,i'll recover well enough to ice-skate :D
One more dayyy...feeling tense/nervous...don't really know how i should be feeling now. Happy? Sad? Nervous? Plain confused~
